


The Midnight Question

by whoneedsapublisher



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F, Older Nico and Kotori
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:22:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29914113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoneedsapublisher/pseuds/whoneedsapublisher
Summary: It's the stroke of midnight. Nico Yazawa is awake, a single question on her mind.
Relationships: Minami Kotori/Yazawa Nico
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	The Midnight Question

Nico was loud and brash and not afraid to demand attention. She’d been like that since they were teenagers, and Kotori was more than used to it at this point. With how boisterous she was, and how eager to boast she could be, anyone looking at her wouldn’t consider for a second if she was happy with the way her life had turned out.

But sometimes, Kotori would wake up in the middle of the night and find that Nico wasn’t lying next to her. She’d wrap a bathrobe around herself and toddle out of their bedroom to investigate. Sometimes Nico was just sneaking a midnight snack. Sometimes she’d just got up to use the bathroom. But sometimes, she was standing out on their balcony, a glass of whiskey in one hand as she stared glassily out at the city, clearly not really seeing any of it.

On those nights, Kotori would come out and lean against her, and Nico would put her arm over her shoulder. They’d stay like that for a while, until Kotori started to shiver or Nico decided to go inside for her own reasons, and then they’d go back to bed. In the morning, Kotori wouldn’t say a word about it.

One night, though, after Kotori had been leaning against her for a few minutes, Nico finally spoke.

“Do you think…” she said, and her voice was raw and vulnerable, almost a whisper into the wind as she stared straight ahead. “Do you think my dad would be proud of me?”

The second part of the question went unspoken.

‘Even though I didn’t make it.’ 

Nico had never become an idol, just like Kotori had never set the fashion world on fire. They’d compromised, and they’d settled, and they’d found happiness with each other but never achieved their dreams. Kotori was content enough- making clothes as a hobby sated her desires well enough, and she had some level of recognition among friends of friends and other casual social circles. And besides, she liked her day job. She’d be sad to leave it even if she did have a chance to work in fashion. But Nico had never truly been able to move past her idol aspirations. Even after she stopped auditioning. Even after she started to focus on childcare. Even as she took night classes and volunteered to pad out her resume, centering her life around her work with children and not the stage.

“Of course he would,” Kotori said. She had to suppress the urge to wince. It felt so token to say. As if she could know. As if her saying it would really soothe that ache in Nico’s soul. But not saying it would mean something of its own, and that was a message Kotori refused to give. So no matter how hollow it felt, no matter how empty, she’d say those words so that Nico could hear them, and hear the lack of hesitation in her response.

Nico smiled slightly at her, and then returned to staring. Kotori closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of the city below, and the steady sound of Nico’s breathing. Even if she couldn’t take Nico’s feelings away, at least she was here. At least when Nico asked herself that question, wondered if she was living the life she should be leading, she wasn’t alone. She wasn’t sitting in a dark room somewhere by herself, drinking away her pain. She was with her loving wife, a constant reminder of someone who cared. Someone who thought she was fine the way she was.

Kotori would wake up in the middle of a thousand nights if that was what it took. She’d shiver on a cold balcony in thin pyjamas and a bathrobe, and all the while, she’d press her head against Nico’s shoulder.

And maybe one day, Nico would wake up in the middle of the night with that question on her mind, look over at Kotori next to her, and be able to go back to sleep.


End file.
